Showing posts with label fuckhawt fanfic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fuckhawt fanfic. Show all posts

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fuckhawt Fanfic Monday: Bartender Rob

It’s Monday. And it’s been one of those Mondays. You know what you need — a little bit of comfort and kindness, to just let go of everything for a couple of hours. With that in mind, you text your girls to meet you at the corner bar and head over after work.

As you walk in, sliding onto a stool at the bar, your eyes widen when you see the new bartender asking you, “What’s your pleasure?” Ohmigod, it’s fuckhawt Bartender Rob. There's something about the way his luscious lips wrap around the word "pleasure" that instantly makes you feel tingly in all the right places. It takes a moment for you to snap your mouth shut. You give him your order and can’t take your eyes off of him as his deftly mixes your drink with long, agile fingers that you can just imagine reaching across the bar to caress your face, moving down your neck, unbuttoning your blouse, pushing it open, skimming along your sides . . . You are snapped out of your reverie when he hands you a drink. He looks intently into your eyes and, as you are drowning in his, he asks you what’s wrong.

Before you know it, you are talking and laughing. It’s a slow night and he keeps your glass filled and you entertained. You slip easily into a conversation that somehow goes on for hours without you realizing it. At some point, you realize your girls never showed up, and you’re actually thankful. Every time he speaks, you watch his lips, imagining how they would feel on your neck There’s something about the scruff on his cheeks that makes you want to nuzzle into it. Almost of it’s own volition, your hand reaches out to touch the top of his chest. He puts his hand over yours, and announces last call without looking up from your eyes. Your mouth, something you used to control with some facility, inexplicably opens and blurts out, "You're beautiful." He licks his lips and smiles a gorgeous crooked smile, and somehow your entire focus is on that lovely pink tongue as it moves in slow motion, that full bottom lip, the angular lines of his jaw.

Other patrons file out, but he asks you to stay, and you do, still talking easily as he wipes down the bar. Suddenly, he’s in front of you and you’re pulling him to you, wrapping your legs around his waist. Common sense, work tomorrow, everything else flies out of your mind and you melt into Bartender Rob. Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff!



For more fuckhawt Bartender Rob...

Under the Influence, by Dopeshieet

Captive of a Bartender, by AcrossTheSkyInStars

Olympic Rain and Novocain, by AddiCakes

He's Just Not That Into You, by MkGrays

Distractions, by Sic Et Non (needs a beta reader, but pretty well written)

Hey Cowboy
, by amgglekim

Sophisticated, To the Point, Effective, by AprilAnne

Don't You Want Me?, by Ruby-Wednesday

White Horse, by FoxxCRUSH

Monday, October 5, 2009

Fuckhawt Fanfic Monday: Geekward Rob

First off, a hearty (with extra vibe!) welcome to @amberchagrined, our newest co-blogger on RobNips! @amberchagrined has a extra special place in her *ahem* heart for Geekward Rob...

Remember that day that both Twitter and Facebook were down? Somehow we made it through several consecutive hours of no access to Robporn or our fellow Robficionados, but we did not escape unscathed. Remember the Great Photo Blackout of Summer '09? Devastation abounded. We truly are dependent on our electronically delivered Rob smut.

The truth is that our enjoyment of all things Rob is intrinsically linked to technology – the scans of photos and the photos themselves disseminated on Twitter and various Rob-centric sites daily; computers that hold our stashes of the Rob goods; Ipods and mp3 players loaded with Rob movies and songs; and even the wallpapers and ringers on our cell phones -- all deliver a constant stream of Rob-goodness.

But have you ever woken up, ready to get your daily Rob fix online, only to discover that your COMPUTER IS NOT WORKING?! Panic sets in. What do you need? You know EXACTLY what you need — Geekward Rob. Not only will he service all of your hardware and software issues, he’s adorably clumsy and awkward in your presence. Yes, Geekward Rob can administer my network any time. While you may need him to tend to your technology issues, he needs you to school him in other, more human, matters. Private tutoring has never been this much fun.

Geekward Rob is working right
now to bring you MORE Rob.

Geekward Definitions:

chagrin — that sinking feeling one experiences in the pit of one’s stomach when the IT department of one’s employer notices the huge file folder on the hard drive of one’s work computer named RobPorn

dazzled – the slightly euphoric and pleasant emotion associated with exposure to all things Rob, including exposure via the use of technology

hard drive -- a device that allows one to save Geekward Rob-related media in various forms; also the effect that such media may have on one's libido


The Geek-Word

So, for those of us who like to get our freak on with Geekward Rob, check out these fuckhawt fanfics.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Fuckhawt Fanfic Monday: Doctor Rob

So, I'm kind've a klutz. And by kind've, I mean a HUGE klutz. My co-workers just kinda giggle when I walk into things and fall down now. :( Anyway, this means that I spend loads of time in emergency rooms. Seriously, I'm practically on a first name basis with the ER doctors at local hospitals. Last winter, I went to the ER yet again, and guess who my attending was? That's right, Dr. Cullen.

Swear to god, that was the script he wrote me...

Now, as soon as he said his name I snorted and started giggling. When I hear Cullen, I don't think of Carlisle. Or even of Edward. I think of Rob. Everything makes me think of Rob.

Drunk = Rob

Sex = Rob

Heineken = Rob

Lucky Charms = Rob

Tattoos = Rob

Anything British = Rob

Vodka = Rob

Doctor = Rob

I can't help it. So when I saw Dr. Cullen at the ER, I started thinking about Dr. Rob.

Mmmmm. Dr. Rob. Now he's a good guy. He just wants to take care of you. He's the guy who brings you soup when your sick, looking all fuckhawt in his flannel shirt... sigh. But he can pound a Heineken (and you) with the best of them, too! And when he puts on his scrubs... Holy hell. He REALLY wants to play doctor with you. He can give you a hands-on lesson in everything he learned in his anatomy and ob/gyn classes... Makes me want to introduce him to the joys of the supply closet. And the on-call room. And the lobby.

In the spirit of some hot Dr. Rob lovin', and to help you with the horrors that are Monday mornings, here are some fuckhawt fanfics that feature this fine man.

Stitches and Scars by BITTENEV

Coming to Terms by GinnyW 31

Confessions of a Nanny by Melissa228

Doctor's Visit by dariachenowith

Best Physical Ever by spuntinsel

Love Game by The Very Last Valkyrie

Serendipity by mjmissy

Isn't Dr. Robward a wonderful thing? Stimulating. And so satisfying.


Thanks to @robsten_yummies and @AccentOnLife for their Dr. Rob fic recommendations!