Fuckhawt Fanfic Monday: Fireman Rob

What's the cause of that 4-alarm fire? Why, the hawtness of Fireman Rob, of course! (and his trusty sidekicks...)


Fireman Rob can't help but cause sparks to fly. When he's called to action, there's nothing quite like watching him slide down and handle that pole. Those agile fingers are perfect for handling all kinds of equipment, and who wouldn't want to feel those strong arms wrapped around them? When he's done with work, you just wanna help him pull off those layers, pull down those sexpenders, and pull him into the shower to wash off the smoke and soot.

Another benefit of Fireman Rob -- -he's always ready to respond, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Better get your fireproof panties ready!

Fuckhawt Firemen Fanfic:

Stop, Drop, and Roll by Bronzehairedgirl620

Escape Our Fates by ClumsyInLove

Capturing the Flame by Bronzehairedgirl620 and Daddy's Little Cannibal

The Epic TRated One: Sparks May Fly by EdwardsTrueLove1901

Trial By Fire by blackgem88

Broken Wings, Fallen Angel by BellaMadonna

Cooking with Fire by In love with a Crooked Smile

A Change of Heart by icegem100

Fuckhawt Fanfic Monday: Geekward Rob

First off, a hearty (with extra vibe!) welcome to @amberchagrined, our newest co-blogger on RobNips! @amberchagrined has a extra special place in her *ahem* heart for Geekward Rob...

Remember that day that both Twitter and Facebook were down? Somehow we made it through several consecutive hours of no access to Robporn or our fellow Robficionados, but we did not escape unscathed. Remember the Great Photo Blackout of Summer '09? Devastation abounded. We truly are dependent on our electronically delivered Rob smut.

The truth is that our enjoyment of all things Rob is intrinsically linked to technology – the scans of photos and the photos themselves disseminated on Twitter and various Rob-centric sites daily; computers that hold our stashes of the Rob goods; Ipods and mp3 players loaded with Rob movies and songs; and even the wallpapers and ringers on our cell phones -- all deliver a constant stream of Rob-goodness.

But have you ever woken up, ready to get your daily Rob fix online, only to discover that your COMPUTER IS NOT WORKING?! Panic sets in. What do you need? You know EXACTLY what you need — Geekward Rob. Not only will he service all of your hardware and software issues, he’s adorably clumsy and awkward in your presence. Yes, Geekward Rob can administer my network any time. While you may need him to tend to your technology issues, he needs you to school him in other, more human, matters. Private tutoring has never been this much fun.

Geekward Rob is working right
now to bring you MORE Rob.

Geekward Definitions:

chagrin — that sinking feeling one experiences in the pit of one’s stomach when the IT department of one’s employer notices the huge file folder on the hard drive of one’s work computer named RobPorn

dazzled – the slightly euphoric and pleasant emotion associated with exposure to all things Rob, including exposure via the use of technology

hard drive -- a device that allows one to save Geekward Rob-related media in various forms; also the effect that such media may have on one's libido


The Geek-Word

So, for those of us who like to get our freak on with Geekward Rob, check out these fuckhawt fanfics.

• Bella and the Billionaire

• Mr. Horrible

• Resident Geek

• Art After 5

• A Geekward Community on Fanfiction.net

RobNip™ 1.1 - Rob is in your bed

No really, go look.

He's ready and waitin' for you. Who can resist this fuckhawtness? Stronger women than us!

This RobNip was created at the request of @Melainii

However, Rob in your bed is one of our most popular requests! So @Melainii can't have all the fun...

These next two manips, which epitomize fuckhawtness, were requested by that dirty bitch @xxooandcookies


Wowza.



Drink it in, bitches! Go head and robsturbate. We'll turn our heads. Robgasms for all!


Remember, we're here to make your fantasies come to life. Email your wishes to RobNipulations@gmail.com with a picture to Robnipulate. We'll do our best to make them come true.


Please also remember to be respectful with your requests. We receive many requests, and it is not always possible to create exactly what you want, especially if you don't give picture inspiration. Thanks!

The first fucktastic post

Have you ever wished that this...

was really this?

If so, you may have just found your safe haven!

What makes Rob-Nipulations so fucktastic? Because Rob-Nipulations is all about YOU. That's right, you. We want to make your dreams come true! (we may or may not use our influence on @RobsButtonsBabe to make some of our dreams come true too...)

So hop on this gravy train! Email your sexiest/funniest idea to RobNipulations@gmail.com with a picture to Robnipulate. We'll do our best to make your fantasies come alive!

Now, as you probably know -- since you are clearly enamored enough of Rob to have found your way here -- the Robsessed have our own language. To help you make the often difficult transition from "casual fan" to completely Robsessed, we've taken it upon ourselves to help de-code some language from the Robster Dictionary that you may have heard recently...

Of course, when we say Robster, we aren't talking about him...


(although we would tap old Robster anytime)


We're actually talking about HIM...

Alright. To begin your education, the following are some of the entries in the Robster Dictionary:

Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Rob" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Rob demonstrates Robnipulation.























Rob block (noun): Much like a cock block, a person who prevents you from getting your Rob on. See also: boss, family members, etc.

Obvious case of Rob blocking




Robrator (noun): a Rob shaped vibrator. This has MANY uses, we assure you.


Why yes, that is a vibrator in my pants...
(Source: Twilight Moonlighter)

Robsicle (noun): a fabulously tasty frozen Rob confection


We wantz it too. sigh

Roblicious (adjective): the state of being as delicious as Rob


Grrr. Arrrgh. He makes us want to pillage him.


Robsturbate (verb): What we are all doing while looking at the above... Don't bother denying it. You know you were.

Robgasm (noun): The obvious conclusion to Robsturbation.


Love it? Hate it? Let us know. Email or find us on Twitter!



Thanks to @stephanyyyx3, @Kortnii, @Bandmum1, @julieperk, @ceridwen28, @chancecc, and @LoveySydney for their help coming up with rob-words!